How are you showing up for yourself?
It was dead quiet here on the morning after the buzz of International Women’s Day, and it felt like a hangover. Instead of appreciating the peace and letting my introverted self regroup after expending so much energy on Wednesday, I panicked and decided that Shecosystem is doomed and I may as well quit now. I anxiously scrambled to take action on scattered projects, and in no time was overwhelmed by the number of to-dos on my list.
From being on top of the world and flushed with gratitude I plummeted into fear and exhaustion.
The beauty of having moments like this at Shecosystem is that there are people around who truly empathize, and we don’t have to hide our emotional reality from 9-5. That’s one of the reasons I started Shecosystem: because I know I am not the only one who wants to be able to show up completely authentically at work.
Heather, the only member working at the space that day, went out for lunch and came back with a donut and bottle of Kentucky bourbon and we took a break to drink and cry together.
As we sat there getting buzzed at 2PM, a woman I’d never met before walked in the door. She apologized that she hadn’t made it the day before for the Open House and wondered if she could have a tour. Sure, but first would she like to have a drink and experience what Shecosystem is really about?
Without shame, I let this stranger witness and join in this very vulnerable and “unprofessional” moment. We talked about life and business, and it turned out to be exactly what all of us needed. For her: a moment to slow down, reflect, plus some pretty real insight into how this coworking space is unlike others. For me: validation that there is a purpose behind what I’ve created, and a gift that has helped me stay centered since Thursday. She asked me ‘a very coachy’ question:
“How am I showing up for myself?”
I have not been showing up for myself very well lately. I push, over-commit, eat saltines for lunch at my computer, book meetings during times I promised to keep open, prioritize networking over working out, and say yes to things I know are “shoulds” while my personal projects shrivel up.
How do you show up for yourself differently than you would show up for anyone else: a friend? A colleague? A child? I have no problem committing to other people’s standards and timelines, serving and loving others, but struggle to do the same for myself.
Here’s how I want to show up for myself this week:
- Being compassionate and forgiving myself when I say no to invitations.
- Keeping appointments with myself. Firm.
- Not shaming myself when things don’t go as planned or when I feel crappy
- Accepting offers of support – and asking for help when it doesn’t arise spontaneously
- Being committed and disciplined in personal development projects that I know will have a positive outcome in the long-run
- Practising what I preach and sticking to my core values
I love that it’s a question, not a statement like “I will show up for myself” (too much pressure!) because in some moments the answer to that question is, “not very well.” I can lovingly accept that in the moment.
I wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it on my laptop, and over the last couple of days, it has disrupted some of my negative mental habits and helped me make better decisions. It will stay there, on my keyboard and on my mind, as I try to re-fill my tank this month. And as that tank fills up, I know that I’ll be showing up better for others.
How are you showing up for yourself?
I want to invite you to show up with us this Spring.
I’m offering 10 Day Passes to use at your leisure between now and June 30. Grab yours here.