Taking time for All-oneness
It’s Monday and I’m home with cramps, watching the rain fall, listening to my body, and working with ease and flow. I just got off the phone with Lindsay, one of the members of our Coven, whose sunshine is lighting up the space on this grey day, and I’m feeling grateful and happy to be able to settle in here for a quiet, solo workday with no meetings or events.
That’s how I’m feeling now, at noon.
Rewind a few hours to me lying in bed at 7AM and it’s an entirely different picture: there’s the desire to surrender to the physical pain and crankiness and spend the day alone, but I’m fighting it. The deeply internalized patriarchal world of work forces my energy outward. I’ve dressed myself in an identity as the cultivator of a communal space that undermines my need for solitude and I’m resisting.
I’m telling myself: you’re weak, you’re not cut out for running a business! You’re letting people down and taking advantage! It’s Monday – take an advil, get your ass in gear and start the week strong!
But then, scrolling in bed, procrastinating, spiralling into this inner conflict, I read an excerpt by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes that our Shecosister Clare Kenty shared:
“Long ago the word alone was treated as two words, all one. To be all one, meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one. It is the cure for the frazzled state so common to modern women…Much of modern woman’s premenstrual crankiness is not just a physical syndrome but it equally attributable to her being thwarted in her need to take enough time away to revivify and renew herself. (read more on Mystic Mama)”
I know that I need a lot of aloneness in order to access the all-oneness but still I resist it. On Saturday night I gave a Pecha Kucha talk at a Toronto Design Offsite festival event featuring coworking spaces from across the city. The format, 20 slides x 20 seconds each, meant that I had to zero in on something. I chose to talk about why we need to bring a feminine balance into the world of entrepreneurship and how Shecosystem is doing it. And today, I’m trying to practise what I preach.
Here’s one of my slides (which had way too much text for 20 seconds but whatever – it’s a quick snapshot of a big idea and I’ll be writing more about it!). Please note that these qualities can be decoupled from gender and we’re going for balance, not binaries. This is for everyone, not just women:
We are living in an entrepreneurial culture that elevates and institutionalizes masculine qualities and devalues the feminine. Shecosystem is creating a space where we can reframe our relationship with our work to include healing and wholing alongside income and output. It’s time to value tending to our inner gardens as much as we value being outwardly active in our businesses.
For me, it’s time to end the inner battle and surrender to today’s aloneness so that when I face the world, I am more ‘all-one’ than I was when I retreated.
Have a wonderful week, and know that even when you are alone, we are all-one in this community. I know it.
Emily Rose Antflick is Shecosystem’s founder and Chief Community Cultivator. Her work stems from a feminine paradigm that values collaboration, emotional authenticity, and work-life integration.
With an M.A. in Curriculum, Teaching and Learning, Emily spent a decade teaching and creating transformative educational journeys for youth before turning her attention to helping women like herself get unstuck and cultivate heart-centred communities that empower them to heal and whole themselves and the world. She founded Shecosystem to hold space for a feminine entrepreneurial paradigm to emerge.
Emily is the Community Leader of G Day for Girls Toronto. She is a certified Permaculture Designer, Dance Our Way Home facilitator, and Rite of Passage Guide.